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Wednesday

Champale, Chronic and Soren Kierkegard Nightcap...how much can YOU take before you need one?


It is smack dab in the middle of my first round of school tests. Im finished w/ half, and today I had my test w/Creole Magic. Some sort of test fairy came down and prevented me getting in trouble for cheating by letting him copy off me by giving us two different tests. In the midst of another melodrama featuring yours truly, I'm trying to cool off by listening to Coltrane and donny Hathaway and peeking in the mind of Kierkegard. Before I go into my details of the latest, goof-ball, hairy situation, I feel as though I need to explain myself. While I'm in school, the cradle of unrest, there are a plethora of things plaguing me, things that we know about -WaMu closing, then Wachovia closing, loans drying up, employment rates reaching 6.1 and rising (or lowering depending on how you look at it.), Palin being able to see Russia from her window... these things are highly depressing, and if you can go nowhere else to get ur mind off things and laugh, you can come right here.Also, some of these things on here, like I had to tell Will and now I feel I must tell you, are fiction. I leave it up to you deduce the real from the fake, like my hair....=)I also know that when I'm writing about somebody, unless they care if they're talked about publicly, to shield them. I have ethics, ya know...but perhaps not enough. Tonight, Hip-hop, through one of his loves from the past...discovered my blog. And threatened to slap me with a law suit.
Maybe it's the champale, but I laughed so hard I peed.
While I'd like to get all "Shaniqua" and put my "clown hat" on, something is stopping me. I just dont know what. Have any of you all ever been "discovered"? And/or threatened to have your outlet PUT OUT? Many of the things I post are minimal day-to-day eyerolls that can be blown up for entertainment, but I am a die-hard writer when serious and have been since i wrote limericks at ten about not wanting to do my chores. Also, I dont like talking about relationships ALL the time...its messy and mushy and not me. But alas, Ive been pushed. In my last post I mentioned being a go-hard-or-go-home hip-hop feminist. I am the ultimate LADIES FIRST go-to girl, but as all my friends know, when I'm in a relationship i go from roaring tigress to purring Kitty Kat. I stifled my roar in the last relationship I was in becuase, i kinda like the man being the MAN-as in dominant, he-man, alpha male.I'm pretty much all for the man being the head and blah blah blah, I love to support my man and make him feel like the greatest when I have one. I like cooking, cleaning,doing special stuff for my significant other as long as My needs were taken care of. Being 19, those needs are minimal-call me on the phone once a week at least, take me out on a date at least once a month, make me feel special, you know! and when i repeat that to other girls, they're all..."THATS IT"? yeah, thats it. But my needs were not met, to say the least. And i toiled in a relationship over a year waiting for the magic to start. But alas, it didnt. I can only put up w/ so much, but being stood up for dates, called out of my name, lied to, cheated on is a LITTLE much, and that was just the tip of the iceberg. Madea says in her book on relationships how she's an old-school fool-she goes through check books, receipts phone bills. I didnt even go through his phone...but I DID meddle on the internet. All the time. It was all I had, and I found out alot.It was basically how I found out about some of the girls he had had flings w/..and discovered exes too. As a rule from now on I MUST know about exes and why yall broke up, because if you have gray hair in places other than ur head and ur not married, theres a problem. (lol, I kid, I kid!) but yeah.These days, I dont too much care about who's who in his life and who he's cavorting with now, and am pretty angry at myself for putting up w/ so much for so long.But girls do crazy things they usually wouldnt when a man tell you he loves you.And I dont care about him finding out about this blog, partly becasue i wanted his input on it long months ago(a little while before I wrote the first chronicles), since he fancies himself some sort of philosopher and writes blogs himself giving advice. GIVING ADVICE to people about their relationships. Ole- I just figured out why Im not at all hot about this situation. People only want to hurt others when they're still hurting, hoping, or holding on. hmmmmm.
So, men and women: Have you ever been pushed to the limits relationship-wise? And has anybody ever found out about the people YOU've tried to keep anonymous? (though as I read back over my past posts, I didnt try that well...lol)
ps....Depending on the day that the drama queen, albeit person I still Love very much decides to sue the pants off of me, I could be going commando, which means I might have to show my ass....
pss lol: I included two videos that made me crack up while trying to calm down!Souljah girl the star!