Champale, Chronic and Soren Kierkegard Nightcap...how much can YOU take before you need one?

It is smack dab in the middle of my first round of school tests. Im finished w/ half, and today I had my test w/Creole Magic. Some sort of test fairy came down and prevented me getting in trouble for cheating by letting him copy off me by giving us two different tests. In the midst of another melodrama featuring yours truly, I'm trying to cool off by listening to Coltrane and donny Hathaway and peeking in the mind of Kierkegard. Before I go into my details of the latest, goof-ball, hairy situation, I feel as though I need to explain myself. While I'm in school, the cradle of unrest, there are a plethora of things plaguing me, things that we know about -WaMu closing, then Wachovia closing, loans drying up, employment rates reaching 6.1 and rising (or lowering depending on how you look at it.), Palin being able to see Russia from her window... these things are highly depressing, and if you can go nowhere else to get ur mind off things and laugh, you can come right here.Also, some of these things on here, like I had to tell Will and now I feel I must tell you, are fiction. I leave it up to you deduce the real from the fake, like my hair....=)I also know that when I'm writing about somebody, unless they care if they're talked about publicly, to shield them. I have ethics, ya know...but perhaps not enough. Tonight, Hip-hop, through one of his loves from the past...discovered my blog. And threatened to slap me with a law suit.
Maybe it's the champale, but I laughed so hard I peed.
While I'd like to get all "Shaniqua" and put my "clown hat" on, something is stopping me. I just dont know what. Have any of you all ever been "discovered"? And/or threatened to have your outlet PUT OUT? Many of the things I post are minimal day-to-day eyerolls that can be blown up for entertainment, but I am a die-hard writer when serious and have been since i wrote limericks at ten about not wanting to do my chores. Also, I dont like talking about relationships ALL the time...its messy and mushy and not me. But alas, Ive been pushed. In my last post I mentioned being a go-hard-or-go-home hip-hop feminist. I am the ultimate LADIES FIRST go-to girl, but as all my friends know, when I'm in a relationship i go from roaring tigress to purring Kitty Kat. I stifled my roar in the last relationship I was in becuase, i kinda like the man being the MAN-as in dominant, he-man, alpha male.I'm pretty much all for the man being the head and blah blah blah, I love to support my man and make him feel like the greatest when I have one. I like cooking, cleaning,doing special stuff for my significant other as long as My needs were taken care of. Being 19, those needs are minimal-call me on the phone once a week at least, take me out on a date at least once a month, make me feel special, you know! and when i repeat that to other girls, they're all..."THATS IT"? yeah, thats it. But my needs were not met, to say the least. And i toiled in a relationship over a year waiting for the magic to start. But alas, it didnt. I can only put up w/ so much, but being stood up for dates, called out of my name, lied to, cheated on is a LITTLE much, and that was just the tip of the iceberg. Madea says in her book on relationships how she's an old-school fool-she goes through check books, receipts phone bills. I didnt even go through his phone...but I DID meddle on the internet. All the time. It was all I had, and I found out alot.It was basically how I found out about some of the girls he had had flings w/..and discovered exes too. As a rule from now on I MUST know about exes and why yall broke up, because if you have gray hair in places other than ur head and ur not married, theres a problem. (lol, I kid, I kid!) but yeah.These days, I dont too much care about who's who in his life and who he's cavorting with now, and am pretty angry at myself for putting up w/ so much for so long.But girls do crazy things they usually wouldnt when a man tell you he loves you.And I dont care about him finding out about this blog, partly becasue i wanted his input on it long months ago(a little while before I wrote the first chronicles), since he fancies himself some sort of philosopher and writes blogs himself giving advice. GIVING ADVICE to people about their relationships. Ole- I just figured out why Im not at all hot about this situation. People only want to hurt others when they're still hurting, hoping, or holding on. hmmmmm.
So, men and women: Have you ever been pushed to the limits relationship-wise? And has anybody ever found out about the people YOU've tried to keep anonymous? (though as I read back over my past posts, I didnt try that well...lol)
ps....Depending on the day that the drama queen, albeit person I still Love very much decides to sue the pants off of me, I could be going commando, which means I might have to show my ass....
pss lol: I included two videos that made me crack up while trying to calm down!Souljah girl the star!

Peek in the life of an Athelete's Wife....

"Stacks on Deck
Wrist full of ice...
Ima go & get this degree
Then shawty I'ma buy whatever I like....."
I've been walkin around singin my remixed ditty-bop in my head for some time now...and like I begin every entry...I know, I know i havent wrote BUT...lol. No explanations this time, dudes. Just know I actually have been following everybody's day-to-days on my sidekick. I have 5 tests coming up and am not as panicked as I think I should be about it....probably because I'm frustrated about other things like life period...but such is life. Willie (as mentioned is past blogs) has gone to Morehouse, Hip-Hop is DEAD, and I dont too much feel like entertaining any other people, so my love life is a running joke between me and my roommate as well. But the joke I wanted to share with you guys was my whirlwind 5 second affair w/ a UK jock, a basketball drafter that just came here...After facebook stalking will and seeing he was MORE than enjoying his time w/his newfound "Georgia Peaches", I was pissed, mostly out of jealousy. I cut political science and went to lunch with my old high school friend Louis, something i almost never do because one, I dont eat lunch and two, I'm a hermit and dont Gel well w/ the black folk here. As Louis went off to find some nasty piece of corn-fed unhealthy chicken to masticate (Chik-Filet of course!), I stood alone, fidgety and adjusting my clothes, and felt a pair of eyes on me. Have you ever felt that? When the naps on the back of your neck prickle, and its not because you need a perm? Well, when I located them, I was taken aback to find the specimen attached to them. The brother was fine. Caramel, 6ft plus and starin at me like I was dessert, which always wins you points...lol. Never a shy Southern Bell, I walked over and introduced myself.
After tellin me in a thick accent his name and also findin out we had a class togetha, he finally told me his claim to fame was because he was drafted to our basketball team, and he was originally from Baton Rouge, Louisiana. (Creole Magic! Yummy!lol)so we exchanged numbers and parted ways. I felt vindicated because of Will, and flabbergasted because an Athelete wanted to talk to me! Im no Kim kardashian (im built way thicker, thanks! lol) or Vanessa Bryant! I'm a big chocolate glamazon! WTF? So for the next week he walked me to class, out and around campus, and texted incessantly, and it was mighty cute. It felt even better to know that it wasnt the sun burnin my black ass, it was the envious stares from other girls! But the cuteness fizzled out when Creole Magic Finally revealed his intentions (duh, you knew this story was goin somewhere!) In the middle of class he handed me a note in small scrawley handwriting asking me 1)When we were gonna do it because i was fine as hell and he "couldnt wait to put it on my thick azz" and 2)did I have stretch marks? because they were sexy as hell and I looked like I had a lot. SIDEBAR: Was that shit supposed to be a compliment? What the hell is sexy about stretch marks? Well hell, if u like it I love it....I had to kindly but Firmly tell his ass that I'm nobody's piece, jump-off, or any ish like that and I was here to get an education, not to be any body's future baby mama or arm candy (though it was nice for a lil while...) Creole Magic seemed unfazed...that is, untill I noticed he wasnt following me to my next class like a puppy dog any longer..the icing on the cake was that weekend, the weekend of the greatest house party I've been to so far, the defining (finally) moment of college fun for me.(i WILL write about my bad party experiences later...) Right in front of me, he was dance-humping some skinny chick that looked like a burnt prayin mantis, the way she was bent, twisted, and angled around his 6'6 frame. I couldnt say much but could only sigh, especially when he made it a point to get the number of a girl who's dress was hiked up over her lumpy behind and stretched out across her cut, and sweat making her weave bangs come loose in the front. (I wish I had a picture.) I could only walk away sayin, "my brother, my brother......"

So Now I do understand what the allure of being an athelete's wife/girlfriend is. To know that everybody is grilling you, wishing they had a chance wit your man (though I KNOW he wasnt mine, you know what I mean. To walk around wearing his jersey proudly, cuz u know if both of y'all play your cards right, his jersey really will be important, and you'll be draped in something way better than his funky old shirt....Still, the allure of being draped in that same shyt because I bought it turns me on even more....one of the reasons why I'm still here.
And besides being a roaring hip-hop feminist and refusing to give it up to someone i dont know because my mama taught me better, I just like Smart dudes, nerds who are going somewhere, smart brothers, since I'm a smart sista. I never knew how much I appreciated all Hip-Hop's educational accolades, or Willie's intelligence or wit, until I had somebosy whisperin in my ear in class...."Aye sexxy gull (yes he says gull!), you know I'ma be copyin off you on dis test!"
Great. Now this Scooter's future is in my hands. If I let him copy, he'll scrape by and pass, possibly become very known and get drafted to the NBA, and set up yet another ignorant mexican video girl up for life in the future....and if I dont let him copy, And y'all kno his ass'll fail, I'll b contributing to yet another black man dropping/getting kicked out of school, not getting a job, and or contributing to crime or more having impoverished black children than Hurrican Katrina. Decisions, decisions.
And people wonder why it's been said that black women are the mules of the world. lol.

back to school....blah....

Im workin at night desk, being haggled by freshman for my number....i have to put up with this untill 8 am...its 3....help! somehow still not finding motivation to write another blog....

Drained....

Guys, I'm packin up for school, so i dont have much time...so I'll just put up a couple crazy pics of me....enjoy!
my frist college party...thats me in the back

This one is the crew I hung with at prom....we were all oddballs. observe.lol

The first Drag Show I went to...I LOVE drag queens! Dont i look like a bad one?lol

Here's the very first older guy I ever dated!

Love you bitches!

Un-Be-WEAVE-Able

Anybody, who knows me (or knows me well) knows that I wear a hairweave. (gasp, oh my god she's admitting it!)lol yes. I am a trackstar. But that's only a negative connotation if I choose it to be, and I choose it NOT to be. From middle school on, I've had a journey with my hair, and went anywhere from a shoulder length bob to a "dooty- ball" at the top of my head, to a flip that rested at my earlobes. Freshman year of highschool, however, I discovered the WEAVE! My beautician put a ponytail on me for my freshman year picture, and from then on, I loved it! I loved never having to do my hair anymore, just throw it on and go! but of course, you cant wear the same weave for months and months, and the "ponytail", as it quickly began to be known as, became raggedy, and almost led me to an altercation with somebody! But I surely wasnt going to let it go, and from then on my weave has evolved. Grown. Ive done all kinds of shit. Short hairstlyes, LONG, different colors, bangs. The list is endless. My baby sugar punkin knows I wear one as well, and he doesnt too much care. (like I'd give a fuck if he did anyway...it's MY hair, gotdamn you!lol) and I've pretty much gotten the weave thing down (if you dont think so, feel free to write me a message later) so I feel as though I should help those who have less experience or arent so inclined to dealing with it. Becasue the rugs I've been seeing on some females around here lately HAVE GOT TO GO!

1- If you're gonna wear a weave, Please buy some real fucking hair! The best you can, at least, becasue unless you're a baller bitch and you got it like that and change it up whenever, that weave is going to be sitting there for a minute. Bad weave looks plastic and stringy and dry! and when you move your head it will move with you! instead of swishing around on its own like it's supposed to....If I see you, I WILL talk about you.

2-If you're gonna wear a weave, take care of it! Yes, you have to treat that shit like its your own. Brush it. Wrap it up when you go to sleep. Moisturize it. love it! cuz if not its going to get dry and tangled, and I've seen waaayyyy too many bitches in the club with their weave in knotty tangled balls at the back of their necks and looking haphazard in the front. Again if I see you, I WILL talk about you.

3-Make sure your weave looks like your hair! as close as you can get as possible! The color (unless you going for a funky two-tone look) shouldnt be lighter or darker. and if you must, take somebody with you when you buy that damn hair! Also, the textures must match as well! If you got some nappy ass project hair and you bought some wacky-yaky, you better SHELLACK that stuff with product and a flat iron until it lays down like your weave. I'm so tired of seeing people walking around with "shredded wheat" at the top of their heads and Italian silky at the bottom that I could scream!Also, if you are wearing a curly weave:unless your hair is fine and agrees with the texture of your weave, dont keep it in too long. After a while, the textures WILL separate and people will indeed begin to realize you dont have as much indian in your family as you would like them to think.Again ladies, if i see you, I WILL talk about you.
(quick tip: if your real hair is flat but not as shiny as you like, run the barrel of a hot curling iron over it...it will glisten. Ashley J, you may not remember giving that advice years ago, but thanx anyway! =))

4- Cover your tracks!we've all had a little mishap where a track is somewhat visible through your hair, but that's not what I'm talkin about.Im talkin about not having enough hair at the top of your head to cover the tracks underneath it! (in that case, maybe you should invest in a quick weave...look it up)and, dont try and put yo hair in a damn ponytail unless your shit is LAID! people are not idiots...we can see the track prints, honey.and please believe if it's sitting out clear as day and I can spot it, I WILL talk about you.

5-unless you are talented or have been at the weave wearing for a while (that'd be me) Dont do it yourself! believe it or not, not everybody needs the full two bags of hair that is prescribed for a sew-in weave.The other night I saw an old friend of mine that looked like she had two pounds of weave on her head and it was weighing her poor little baby-head skinny dome down! Just wrong...Also, I go to school with a couple that need a little help. Their weaves look like HATS becasue they're so big on they damn head! You better tell shaniqua to stop gettin creative on your wig,honey! Its not a good look!you know why? cuz i WILL talk about you!

6-Dont wear a weave thats not YOU. Dont come to school or to yo job with no fingerwaves on one side, waterfall crimps coming down in a pontyail on top of that with bangs underneath with twisties, a french roll and two random tracks in the back! its just ridiculous! also, if you got a big ass forehead, cover that shit up! dont be assaulting us...and going back to ponytails, dont you DARE wear no long ass silky black pony tails and the back of yo neck looks like a dark version on the gravel on the side of the road. you know why? Becasue.
My whole crew will talk about you.Badly.

Bottom line, weaves are everywhere. And they're here to stay. While some girls may only wear it once in their lives for a prom or a wedding, still others may wear it like an accesory,or another part of their style.(like me!) Dont hate on the next person, and that goes for boys and girls. Boys, weave is not for "bald-headed people". Every wench that you like lookin at in magazines or on tv has had some sort of enhancement. "if you cant grow it, sew it!" and "if you cant achieve it, weave it!" are very oudated terms, becasue women of every race wear it. Even girls with long hair, becasue its often for thickness more than length. Girls, if you dont wear a weave, then feel free to laugh at this. And if you do, then please make sure you got all that ive written about on lock! Becasue ive been through all that shit. And, well, if you decide NOT to take my advice, then, like Bruce-Bruce says...
"That looks GOOD....on....YOU.!"
(but i WILL talk about you.)