Where Were You When Our President Was Elected?

(btw, a couple of y'all (Eb and Saitek) read a news paper article i had written for the newspaper that i saved on my blog. Sorry guys, it wasnt a post, I just didnt have a disk! ghetto, i know!lol but i feel the love neway! Thanks yuurr kindly, u are my motivations!)


let me start this off by saying that I am sleepy as hell!!!!! so sleepy, i mean soo, sleepy..sitting here working night desk. I am a SLAVE to this job...ive been having problems w/it, hate it and am about to quit, then i get a new bill for the month or am swayed by the trendy new hotness on my favorite internet boutiques....i hate it.lol newho, i know its been a long time, sorry guys! im just a lazy heffer. but since I asked YOU guys the question (in my headline), its only right that I tell you where i was....on campus!lol here I am after I just got finished voting....

And here I am when Obama was elected!!!!!

LOL. I know about the roughness, my weave was "begone" my friend rissa's pits were the ish, but MAN, were we happy. As soon as obama hit 277, i flew out of my chair and screamed and almost cried and me and my roommate ran throughout the halls (where in some places some white girls were crying, and not out of joy.)it seemed like all the black students piled out @ once to celebrate, and we had an impromptu party!Ill try to get the video up from my sidekick later this week of every black person at school here (thats sad if u can see them all in one video) drinking kool-aid somebody brought out, dancing to speakers somebody brought out, and chanting "Obama, Obama" like it was a rap song...whoops, it is, isnt it?LOL. I took a thousand newspapers from school with O's face on them and plan to frame one....something i really cant wait to tell my kids about. For this post, I'm torn between wanting to wax sentimental about this election and what its meant to me and to talk about what else has been going on lately in regards to my last post, because sadly, though the election was the greatest, it hasnt BEGAN to solve all my problems...guess ill connect w/ last post and talk about "how I feel" and "who I am" in another one...i talk about myself too much anyway...(like this blog isnt all about me..::Side eye::)
:::::I put my fertilizer down!!!!::::(flips in the air)
after finding out even MORE crap about Hip-Hop (i was contacted by some girl who was LIVING w/ him while this travesty between us was supposed to take place, even though it has BEEN over) and decided to just close out everything between us for good even though it was over (this included alot of name calling and death threats on my part)because we all know how black relationships are- they can drag on for YEARS. And i just dont want it. Uh-uh, not me!In fact, Ive been spending alot of time by myself and feel pretty good about it.(and have strangely stocked up on queen latifah's, monie love's, and sista souljah's albums lol) I know all my goals and have a complete game plan down for my life now. In other words....
:::a sista gots it goin on::
after I get my shit right, of course.lol. I finally have dragged myself down to my friend The Queen's modeling show practice like I told y'all. Dont y'all know this heffer told me I gotta pay $100 to be in the show? (Nigga say what?) lol, just kidding.And ah, thanks giving break is just next week...I love life.lol
*though that still doesnt change the fact that i feel something lacking here
*next post ill b backtracking and talkin abt my halloween!lol
*Random question, but does anybody else not feel ALL THAT HAPPY when they accomplish something? I think somethin might be wrong with me. I feel almost the same way about losing a brand new expensive whte sweater to a mudstorm as I do when i finally get something done...weird.
*I will b checkin on all u guy's blogs and commenting. I havent forgotten abt you I prommise!
*Morehouse Man comes home next week! yay!lol

Waiting For the Fruit to Fall....

This is how tired and old I feel.Its how i look like right now, actually...ok just kidding. But I am indeed exhausted.ok, lol i look a lil more like this

Midterms are finished, but Im still pretty beat up from having to work. Yes, the night-desk clerk job I have that was supposed to be part time has turned into an all-night thing, every night. But I have bills, man. So let me not even go into that whole spiel....Lately, people have been asking me, "What made you grow up?" "when did you become sista souljah?" and really, I dont know.Does anyone ever know?(btw, why do you have to be "acting grown" to not be showing your ass?) But then again, when asked, if ever, why am I REALLY in college, my soul says it doesnt know either. So I pretty much put me on hold and do it for other people.
Do any of you guys ever feel like you do some things for other people? Its not that I dont want to be in school, because I sincerely love college.I love to learn.But my main reasons for being here are my family. My mother didnt get to graduate, and she pretty much lives through me. It breaks my heart sometimes when I come home and Im regaling her with tales of this knucklehead or that wack professor, and her eyes light up because she never got to experience that and she so longs for it. In my Mother's day post, I mentioned how i would do anything for her, and how I really feel Im her made over sometimes, just a continuation. Hell, she tells me how i took her body all the time lol. But if I have to break my back and get a new one from weariness and stayin in school, I'd do it just for her....
Also, Im doing it for my two younger sisters. So they know its okay to be smart and nuts and quirky because there's a place for everyone.So they know just what a classy (except for my trashmouth,lol)young woman can do. And so that they cant ever say they cant do it...I dont ever wanna be like Kim K, who said on the tyra show, she tries to empower women and set good examples for HER two little sisters.
***blank stare***


So since I'm nurturing this tree Im just waitin for the fruit to fall...for my money to come, for my next opportunity to bless someone because im being blessed,for a new lesson...tick-tock,fruit.
HOWEVER.
there's still some fertilizer I need to put down. I've made some mistakes I need to rectify. And this weekend Im goin home to fix a biggie. Of course by now if u've peeked around here any, you'd kno abt my ups and downs, ons and off w/ HIM. as in "Hip-Hop".(who btw told me he didnt mind my feminist beliefs because it was mostly bullshit opinios anyway, and if it doesnt make money it doesnt make sense. Nevermind without it, his mother and girl cousins wouldnt even b able to vote...jesus, are u giving me a sign or taking the red flag and smacking me in the face with it?) And after this weekend, I'll pretty much know whether or not I've really matured into a grown woman. (sigh) wish me luck, even if you dont know what the hell im talkin about.I will write and tell 'yall...This next week is going to be crazy. Ive told my friend The Queen (i think she thinks that's her real name, too.lol)that I would be in her fashion show....but I cant believe that I did that!Now I can do some car show type deal (cuz thats what im built for) bouncin around in hardly no clothes (but those days are over since I'm queen latifah now lol)I dont know how to use my height and my legs!what if the clothes she's desginig dont fit me right? WTF?!!! and after that, I've agreed to be sold off in a date auction to raise money for breast cancer awareness...sold off...i dont know why I do these boneheaded things. I guess for you all's entertainment.I can just picture some strange, monkey like non-greek pickin me up and carryin me accross the threshold whilst slappin my ass and burpin...ugh.Speakin of men, I was chatting w/ one of my longtime love interests last night, and wondered if he had gotten his mind together, as in, not tryna get any, anymore. He hasnt. Still love him though.... But I do have a question for all my grown-up lady readers and male ones too: Does the quest for booty ever stop? Do they ever stop hankering, hinting, and panting after it? How many times can I say NO?And if you really want to turn me on, talk to me about the election! Tell me you want to take me to church with you one day! treat me to freaking dinner! I refuse to believe that Chivalry is dead! you utter the word feminist and people hear the word "DYKE"! There's got to be a gentleman somewhere...can I find the last of the dying breed?
Can I?
Smile. I might have...Enter KNOWLEDGE, stage right....

Stop The Madness... Class Act prt 1

Stop the madness. Like, really.
Why are we females always fighting EACH OTHER?
I have come a long way from where I used to be, and being a little more enlightened than I was before, I'm looking around and shaking my head. Im on my journey to become a "class act".There was a time when I didnt have the highest self-esteem, and was threatened by girls who had qualities that I admired or wished I had. So in the company of my friends, I would pick out the chicks I had problems with and systematically Tear Them Apart! From their hairstyle to their shoes, the way they were built...any imperfections I had seen I would exploit to the fullest extent.And would use my gift with words to make a person feel lower than an ant... Then a little later, after I had my own Come-up and didnt feel so bad, I picked on people who didnt have it like I had it, who couldnt "freak" an outfit like I freaked it, and maybe werent as cute as me. Lookin back no matter where I was on the popularity food chain, I was a pretty nasty person. But, things change, time heals all wounds and I look around and see my sisters (all of you!) doing the same things I did and worse. And if you aren't, I applaud you. Now, there is a difference between hating on girls for no reason and disliking them for a genuine one...and let me tell you
A MAN BETTER NOT BE ONE OF THEM!
every day I find myself trying to be a better person, a classy lady. We hear that word alot but alot of women take the word and twist the meaning. And, if you have to call yourself classy before anybody else does, you still have some work to do, lady. For the ladies that maybe have some issues deep down inside and jealousy is your problem, you dont have to admit it to that person. But you can from here on out stop treating them like your enemy and maybe find out what it is that you can do to better yourself. Sistas, another thing that is CLASSLESS is the way we treat ourselves when it comes to men...PLEASE let that "wifed-up" thing go! because unless you have a ring on your finger, you are really no better than the "side-chick" or "jumpoff" because the nigga is still DISRESPECTING you. Also, if you got your man by taking him from anotha sista, you better beware. How you got him is how you will lose him, and Karma is a bad,bad, bitch.Another thing. CLOSE YOUR MOTHERFUCKING LEGS!IF you MUST get some, go buy a toy. We all understand that caking and cuddling with a dude can lead to some stuff, and we all fall down. But if you keep on TRIPPING and Falling, you better take them Fuck Me Pumps off and go sat your hot ass down somewhere.And if you bragging because he's trickin on you, what does that make you? A TRICK! stop braggin on it... Once a dude gets it, i mean...he done got it and its up to him now to decide when to get rid of ur ass, cuz we all know the double standards.I hate to bore you, but the story Lysistrata by Aristophanes is about all the women in thier kingdom cracking down on their dudes and getting whatever they wanted done by doin one thing: Cutting off the coochie!(its really effective, I PROMISE!lol) To my ladies that are established, have their own things, look good, doing it big: I APPLAUD YOU! I LOVE YOU, GIRL! but dont look down on the next chick. If I see anybody else on their pages talkin about how they "SHIT" on "these hoes", I'm gonna go crazy. Do you think there is something cute about people visualizing boo-boo runnin all outta your ass because you look good? eh-eh. Besides, shit stinks, and so will your attitude if you keep talkin like that.Now if I sound like I'm preachin, y'all aint gotta go get out your afro picks for a natural and run around bra-less watchin Waiting to Exhale...
but can we attempt to make a change at least? Even if a chick did something to piss you off and now u dont like her ass, forgive her. Maybe she was having a bad day.Help a ho get off the floor if she fell instead of laughin! (I say ho in the most loving way) when you walk down the street, smile at the next girl u see instead of mean muggin, even IF THATS WHAT SHE DOES.Stop fighting like bitches in the street (that shit aint cute!)Rome wasnt built in a day...and next time you go to the club and you look all the way right, say you REPRESENT for the girls that cant do it like you yet instead of SHITTING (eee) on the ones who dont look so good. To all the girls who say they dont fuck with other girls, they only have guy friends...shut your trap. you only have guy friends execpt for all the BESTIES that you effin posin in pics with, and besides a nigga can be "yo nigga" all he want and he STILL can talk about yo ass the same way he talk about people in front of you.So to all the girls that I've pissed off ever, my bad, sis. And to all my future and present friends, I'm blessed to have you.I know this line is a cliche', but the past is history, the future is a mystery, and today is a gift! Enjoy it! Why do you think they call it the "present"?
So let's Stop the Madness!

Champale, Chronic and Soren Kierkegard Nightcap...how much can YOU take before you need one?

It is smack dab in the middle of my first round of school tests. Im finished w/ half, and today I had my test w/Creole Magic. Some sort of test fairy came down and prevented me getting in trouble for cheating by letting him copy off me by giving us two different tests. In the midst of another melodrama featuring yours truly, I'm trying to cool off by listening to Coltrane and donny Hathaway and peeking in the mind of Kierkegard. Before I go into my details of the latest, goof-ball, hairy situation, I feel as though I need to explain myself. While I'm in school, the cradle of unrest, there are a plethora of things plaguing me, things that we know about -WaMu closing, then Wachovia closing, loans drying up, employment rates reaching 6.1 and rising (or lowering depending on how you look at it.), Palin being able to see Russia from her window... these things are highly depressing, and if you can go nowhere else to get ur mind off things and laugh, you can come right here.Also, some of these things on here, like I had to tell Will and now I feel I must tell you, are fiction. I leave it up to you deduce the real from the fake, like my hair....=)I also know that when I'm writing about somebody, unless they care if they're talked about publicly, to shield them. I have ethics, ya know...but perhaps not enough. Tonight, Hip-hop, through one of his loves from the past...discovered my blog. And threatened to slap me with a law suit.
Maybe it's the champale, but I laughed so hard I peed.
While I'd like to get all "Shaniqua" and put my "clown hat" on, something is stopping me. I just dont know what. Have any of you all ever been "discovered"? And/or threatened to have your outlet PUT OUT? Many of the things I post are minimal day-to-day eyerolls that can be blown up for entertainment, but I am a die-hard writer when serious and have been since i wrote limericks at ten about not wanting to do my chores. Also, I dont like talking about relationships ALL the time...its messy and mushy and not me. But alas, Ive been pushed. In my last post I mentioned being a go-hard-or-go-home hip-hop feminist. I am the ultimate LADIES FIRST go-to girl, but as all my friends know, when I'm in a relationship i go from roaring tigress to purring Kitty Kat. I stifled my roar in the last relationship I was in becuase, i kinda like the man being the MAN-as in dominant, he-man, alpha male.I'm pretty much all for the man being the head and blah blah blah, I love to support my man and make him feel like the greatest when I have one. I like cooking, cleaning,doing special stuff for my significant other as long as My needs were taken care of. Being 19, those needs are minimal-call me on the phone once a week at least, take me out on a date at least once a month, make me feel special, you know! and when i repeat that to other girls, they're all..."THATS IT"? yeah, thats it. But my needs were not met, to say the least. And i toiled in a relationship over a year waiting for the magic to start. But alas, it didnt. I can only put up w/ so much, but being stood up for dates, called out of my name, lied to, cheated on is a LITTLE much, and that was just the tip of the iceberg. Madea says in her book on relationships how she's an old-school fool-she goes through check books, receipts phone bills. I didnt even go through his phone...but I DID meddle on the internet. All the time. It was all I had, and I found out alot.It was basically how I found out about some of the girls he had had flings w/..and discovered exes too. As a rule from now on I MUST know about exes and why yall broke up, because if you have gray hair in places other than ur head and ur not married, theres a problem. (lol, I kid, I kid!) but yeah.These days, I dont too much care about who's who in his life and who he's cavorting with now, and am pretty angry at myself for putting up w/ so much for so long.But girls do crazy things they usually wouldnt when a man tell you he loves you.And I dont care about him finding out about this blog, partly becasue i wanted his input on it long months ago(a little while before I wrote the first chronicles), since he fancies himself some sort of philosopher and writes blogs himself giving advice. GIVING ADVICE to people about their relationships. Ole- I just figured out why Im not at all hot about this situation. People only want to hurt others when they're still hurting, hoping, or holding on. hmmmmm.
So, men and women: Have you ever been pushed to the limits relationship-wise? And has anybody ever found out about the people YOU've tried to keep anonymous? (though as I read back over my past posts, I didnt try that well...lol)
ps....Depending on the day that the drama queen, albeit person I still Love very much decides to sue the pants off of me, I could be going commando, which means I might have to show my ass....
pss lol: I included two videos that made me crack up while trying to calm down!Souljah girl the star!

Peek in the life of an Athelete's Wife....

"Stacks on Deck
Wrist full of ice...
Ima go & get this degree
Then shawty I'ma buy whatever I like....."
I've been walkin around singin my remixed ditty-bop in my head for some time now...and like I begin every entry...I know, I know i havent wrote BUT...lol. No explanations this time, dudes. Just know I actually have been following everybody's day-to-days on my sidekick. I have 5 tests coming up and am not as panicked as I think I should be about it....probably because I'm frustrated about other things like life period...but such is life. Willie (as mentioned is past blogs) has gone to Morehouse, Hip-Hop is DEAD, and I dont too much feel like entertaining any other people, so my love life is a running joke between me and my roommate as well. But the joke I wanted to share with you guys was my whirlwind 5 second affair w/ a UK jock, a basketball drafter that just came here...After facebook stalking will and seeing he was MORE than enjoying his time w/his newfound "Georgia Peaches", I was pissed, mostly out of jealousy. I cut political science and went to lunch with my old high school friend Louis, something i almost never do because one, I dont eat lunch and two, I'm a hermit and dont Gel well w/ the black folk here. As Louis went off to find some nasty piece of corn-fed unhealthy chicken to masticate (Chik-Filet of course!), I stood alone, fidgety and adjusting my clothes, and felt a pair of eyes on me. Have you ever felt that? When the naps on the back of your neck prickle, and its not because you need a perm? Well, when I located them, I was taken aback to find the specimen attached to them. The brother was fine. Caramel, 6ft plus and starin at me like I was dessert, which always wins you points...lol. Never a shy Southern Bell, I walked over and introduced myself.
After tellin me in a thick accent his name and also findin out we had a class togetha, he finally told me his claim to fame was because he was drafted to our basketball team, and he was originally from Baton Rouge, Louisiana. (Creole Magic! Yummy!lol)so we exchanged numbers and parted ways. I felt vindicated because of Will, and flabbergasted because an Athelete wanted to talk to me! Im no Kim kardashian (im built way thicker, thanks! lol) or Vanessa Bryant! I'm a big chocolate glamazon! WTF? So for the next week he walked me to class, out and around campus, and texted incessantly, and it was mighty cute. It felt even better to know that it wasnt the sun burnin my black ass, it was the envious stares from other girls! But the cuteness fizzled out when Creole Magic Finally revealed his intentions (duh, you knew this story was goin somewhere!) In the middle of class he handed me a note in small scrawley handwriting asking me 1)When we were gonna do it because i was fine as hell and he "couldnt wait to put it on my thick azz" and 2)did I have stretch marks? because they were sexy as hell and I looked like I had a lot. SIDEBAR: Was that shit supposed to be a compliment? What the hell is sexy about stretch marks? Well hell, if u like it I love it....I had to kindly but Firmly tell his ass that I'm nobody's piece, jump-off, or any ish like that and I was here to get an education, not to be any body's future baby mama or arm candy (though it was nice for a lil while...) Creole Magic seemed unfazed...that is, untill I noticed he wasnt following me to my next class like a puppy dog any longer..the icing on the cake was that weekend, the weekend of the greatest house party I've been to so far, the defining (finally) moment of college fun for me.(i WILL write about my bad party experiences later...) Right in front of me, he was dance-humping some skinny chick that looked like a burnt prayin mantis, the way she was bent, twisted, and angled around his 6'6 frame. I couldnt say much but could only sigh, especially when he made it a point to get the number of a girl who's dress was hiked up over her lumpy behind and stretched out across her cut, and sweat making her weave bangs come loose in the front. (I wish I had a picture.) I could only walk away sayin, "my brother, my brother......"

So Now I do understand what the allure of being an athelete's wife/girlfriend is. To know that everybody is grilling you, wishing they had a chance wit your man (though I KNOW he wasnt mine, you know what I mean. To walk around wearing his jersey proudly, cuz u know if both of y'all play your cards right, his jersey really will be important, and you'll be draped in something way better than his funky old shirt....Still, the allure of being draped in that same shyt because I bought it turns me on even more....one of the reasons why I'm still here.
And besides being a roaring hip-hop feminist and refusing to give it up to someone i dont know because my mama taught me better, I just like Smart dudes, nerds who are going somewhere, smart brothers, since I'm a smart sista. I never knew how much I appreciated all Hip-Hop's educational accolades, or Willie's intelligence or wit, until I had somebosy whisperin in my ear in class...."Aye sexxy gull (yes he says gull!), you know I'ma be copyin off you on dis test!"
Great. Now this Scooter's future is in my hands. If I let him copy, he'll scrape by and pass, possibly become very known and get drafted to the NBA, and set up yet another ignorant mexican video girl up for life in the future....and if I dont let him copy, And y'all kno his ass'll fail, I'll b contributing to yet another black man dropping/getting kicked out of school, not getting a job, and or contributing to crime or more having impoverished black children than Hurrican Katrina. Decisions, decisions.
And people wonder why it's been said that black women are the mules of the world. lol.