Treacherous Thursday thru unsettling Sunday

it took some time for me to get on here....I'm really lazy. So what!!!!!!Thursday, I decided to exercise my rights as a licensed driver and get on the road with my kayla....on the quest of costume shopping. Both of us actually got the costumes we wanted (me, a sexy vampire bride, and Kayla, a sexy welfare-ho version of Alice in Wonderland; we'll call her Alicia!!lol)for Halloween Express (a great place!!! Not cheap tho...) but before that, we went to the mall, Spencer's to be exact. I promptly bought then lost a set of vampire fangs. Great. Along all this, camaraderie between the two of us, if you will, I missed Political Science. Oh no. (a disaster of epic proportions, especially since I've missed like 3 classes....)I got my costume, but I wanted to make it complete with some scary contacts...I looked online, but the ones available were definitely expensive. Hey, I am a poor student here!!!!! Friday, I went to my only class (astronomy) and absolutely paid NO attention. Instead, I paid attention to my good friend Lay and his burgeourning flirting relationship with a female of the Cocaine persuasion (read:white). It was rather disheartening...and I'm ashamed. I'm getting over my problems with racism, but damnit if it isnt a long journey...later that day I took my friend Kevin to the bank to cash his check....Me and Kevin used to date, but he, like so many others, broke my heart...(he said we were getting too serious...)anyway, we've become pretty good friends now, but the attraction is still there. He ended up not even getting his check, and we bickered back and forth about the distances between two different krogers from campus...Like, who gives a floop? lol. Later that night, me and my friends went to Open Mic Night. Joy. I dressed in my new "ghetto contempo casual" look, while everybody else went in my usual uniform: "Heels and sexy".Which later to my chagrin, everyone was dressed like that, and no one really appreciated my flyy, that came straight out a 80's scene, doorknockers and all... There were too many acts to name, but I'll talk about the ones that were most interesting. The first one I'll name (taking a leaf from the great Angela Nisell, author of The Broke Diaries) "someone pplease ddate mmee ppllease". He has a crush on my kayla, and its quite comical. He got up and did a series of runs, talkin about a darkskinned girl (why do all lightskinned people call brown-skinned people dark? Are you colorblind becasue YOU lack melanin?) who had big breasts? Wonder who that is? (In case you are, I'll include a pic of Kayla) The next act, and also the main one, is a lady I'll call "Neo-Nappy." She sat a table behind us and made loud comments and praises about the acts all night before she got up. She sang, which actually wasnt bad. She sounded like Leela James, and I like Leela James. But the thing that disturbed me the most was how she looked!!! She had the whole afro, long tunic non-matching outfit no bra and Jesus sandals type shebang. And even that wouldnt have bothered me if I hadn't listened to her message. She was preaching about how she was so free and she didnt care what people thought of her, she had her degree! and she's so full of love and all this jumbo...and it hit me. We black women are striving to find oursleves in college, to love ourselves and get more intelligent all the while. Was this unwashed, dirty back-packer looking woman the end result of our efforts? I was scared. I dont wanna look like that!!! I like my makeup, my louie v bags and heels, and most of all, my hairweave!! (let alone my soap, darnitt!!)but before I get too worked up, I'll move on. The next act was a trio ( and they were in the same fraternity...big surprise)who had this,rap, then slow down and sing while all the while reciting poetry thing, about suprise! Sex. My kayla liked the snger, but I cant say I was too impressed with the whole act.(and it's not becasue of the middle reciter, who bore a striking resemblance to Jimeny Crickett! He was wack too, but I thought it remarkable how he folded his bony legs on that stool and sat. He looked ready to be attacked by a frog at any The next act was this white rapper...his act was also pretty good.You know, one day I'm going to pursue a white man for a relationship. Hopefully it'll be better than the crap that my so-called brothers are serving up on a platter....The last act broke my heart just a little. It was by the man that I've had a crush on since I got to campus. He's fly, suave, hella intelligent, and so beautiful...(a nubian king, man...)He got up there and announced his ENGAGEMENT so some yellow heifer(sorry yellow heifer, but I dont know your name...)and sang one of MY FAVORITE SONGS to her...and announced the death of his pimp....and proceeded to lay down on the stage and let the pimp rest in peace. Joy. The rest of the night faded I wallowed in my loneliness....everybody is getting paired up around me...and for real now, not just "going out", a choice term used in Middle and High school. Saturday morning I got up early and went to a study session for a test. The lady teaching it pissed me off....the hag. She said "you all, This is not a session where you get the need to interact." Why else would I be there? I got my crap and left before I stomped her in her old dusty heart with my shoe. I hopped in Laronda (my honda) and sped off. I went home....a place to relax. I didnt go anywhere saturday, the day of our homecoming game, and the day of our stepshow. Tell me, why would I want to go to that mess? To see the Greeks do everything they do at regualr college parties (read: Show their behinds at the expense of everyone else's enjoyment) and I definitley wasn't peeling off a dub for that, thank you. Least of all, I didnt want to see or cheer for the weakling that took my virginity when he in great infinitecy (hey, I made up a word!!)doesnt deserve applause, let alone the gift I should have kept for my husband. Oh well. Saturday I shopped in my mother's car while mine was getting fixed. I found some rad shoes for my costume at a vintage shop (is Michael Antonio or Anthony a famous designer?) and FINALLY found some contacts. They're not red like I wanted, but they're blue, a color you definitely wont see on your run of the mill black girl...Sunday night when I got back to the dorm me, my kayla, and my neighbor liz ran up and down the hallways in our costumes. Like little kids. Yay.This week is Halloween...let's see what is brings....(hey if you say that right, it rhymes!!!)lol.