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Friday

When It Rains, It Pours.....

It's been raining for almost a week. I am so not impressed. And neither were my parents, when I told them about my potential job offer (workin at the sex shop) man, it was a civil damn war at my house. My daddy is a deacon, and my mom...well, she walks on a wilder side, but still believes what she believes, put it that way. They were all "that is the gateway to hell. Next is sex and drugs!" and then they said I was gonna start strippin. A damn stripper, they said.
Daddy: you're a beautiful girl! and some man is gonna come in the shop one day and look at you and say, "hey, little girl, you wanna make some money? I know the perfect way...." I don't want you to lose your innocence babygirl! (What innocence?)Oh lord.
(And off he goes to pray, but not before having his first of a series of shots. Amen.)
Mama: I just don't believe you. What is wrong with you? What kinda toys and gagdets you gotta have so bad that you gotta strip?
Me: strip? I'm workin as a CASHIER!!!
Mama: that's just the 1st step!
It was then that I realized, I shoulda never turned 18 if they didn't want me to take jobs they wouldn't. I'M A GROWN ASS WOMAN, THANKS! (Actually, I'm not. I'm just old enough to say it,heehee.)but hey, if I want to be a stripper, that's pretty much my prerogative....
Me: look mama, I'm gonna do what I wanna do. I have to pay for college, ya know! I'm going to my room! Oh my god!
And off I went.meanwhile, it was still rainin outside...and in my life! But I didn't want to spite them, so I took the dumb job as the dumb phone operator. Truth be told: I'm a little nervous. I have finally accepted the fact that I am a boughie little black girl. I've lived in the burbs since I was ten, and before that a nice, quaint neighborhood with only old folks. I cant deal with the loud, finger snappin, ft long fingernails, multicolored weave havin around the way girls. I can't! Oh god I'm having an anxiety attack as we speak. Shaquanda and aquafina and them are cool with me as long as I'm not around them! Oh god, and then I'm really ashamed to say that; but I don't like white people that much either! I like people like me....but variety is the spice of life...I guess ill grow up one day. Ugh, training starts on monday.

Tuesday

Dream Catching, and a Dream defferred.....

MLK had a dream.... And so did I. So do I, I suppose. A dream of getting a to see one of my leaders, my role models, in person. Obama came to little old Louisville, Kentucky yesterday for the primaries and I was so excited!!! I was hoping of getting to shake his hand, ask a question, hell maybe even take a picture....not to mention meet Michelle Obama, aka the black Jackie O, aka the "hottest chick in the game" (courtesy of bossip,lol.) Somehow I finagled my crew into coming with me (I didn't have but a DROP of gas left in my tank, hear me? Somebody else had to drive...) and off we went! The sun was bright and the tide was high, and I was cheesing from ear to ear in the backseat of Marissa's car, weave blowin in the wind and all. There were all sorts of people milling about the streets, all for different purposes...and I suddenly saw why by the time we got to the "line". It wasn't no Damn line! It was a gargantuan irritated people chain that snaked down 2 street blocks and then turned a damn corner! By the time we walked the length of the line, homegirls had decided to call it a damn day. But while we were walking back UP the people chain, there were huge gaps in the line. So big that we decided we might be able to squeeze into a spot....untill this big ass old black woman with a large handful of snot-nosed Shaniquas and Raheems said" Nah, Nah, Nah yall not cuttin ladies!" pissin me off. So I didn't get to see obama. But what pissed me off even more was that old-school gutter snipe who got in my well-dressed and polite face! The ho... What a dream deferred. So today I'm job hunting. Chasing the dream, or the money. It's 4 freaking o clock! And I been poundin the pavement since 11 this morning... I got two for sures and a lot of other possibles. One as a telemarketing agent and the other as a cashier at a sex shop. I can just see me as the new girl six, purring into the phone to get some bonehead to get online rm radios, or as some fluffy-haired jawn with too much lipliner and fake eyelashes, talkin about how the 8 inch dongs are simply the bomb! Yall don't know how hard I'm rolling my eyes... Plus, I miss him....
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Sunday

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!/ I have readers!!! yay!

Ok, so sorry it took me so long to write. Life is a many splendored thing, ya know. Many busy bull**** things to do as well....anywhoo, I'm actually excited to dedicate this to my favorite girl....my mom! Ole girl's been around wwaaaayyy longer than I have, about time I did something for her, right?She's the original flyy gurl.. Sometimes though, I actually confuse my mom's life with mine...almost like I'm just a younger version of her, ready to start over again. We both act the same, I'm built like her, I love to write like her, and the reason (at times) I'm still in school and not bent over with my ass out on the pages of King and Smooth is because she didn't graduate college. (But I might be getting there soon...sista's gotta pay for college, ok?) We've been riding partners for a while now...all the way from the roach infested townhouse when it was just me and her and a tiny box tv, to the suburbs, a new dad, brother,sister, and cars and education for all of us..lol. What do I admire the most about her? Her realism. She knew she had to make money to feed us, so instead of chasing her dreams in cali as the journalist she wanted to be, she busted her guts for 19 years at a boring desk job in front of a computer screen...she tells me each and every time (when I ask) whether I've made a mistake with my new flavor of the week (and the woman is ALWAYS right! Grrr!) and sacrificed so that I could go to a performing arts middle school and then youth performing arts school, so I could have a car sitting outside at 15 and couldn't even drive it, so I could get that ridiculously extravagant white prom dress with see through bodice and dripping rhinestones!! (I'm starting to feel guilty as I write this) And all she wants is a condo in florida. Lmao. which seems to be something all old people clamor after....There's a vast variety of mothers in America, from the corporate working mother with latchkey kids to that project mama we all know who sits at home and watches her soaps and stays on the phone, to that beautiful trophywife did-she-really-pop-out-a-baby-or-is-it-her-sister's like Rebbie and Janet jackson....I would have to say my mom is a lil of all of these. All my aunts AND my friends say our relationship is too much like that of friends and not enough mother and daughter, but hell, without her they wouldn't know half the sex ed info they do....another hearty laugh... So here's to you "Shoo"! Know that I love you and would trade my next breath just so u could breathe on....HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!

Ps...omigod I have readers! This is like a dream come true....I'm doing my pageant wave in front of my computer screen...my goofball life is not in vain...