back like crack and i never left! oh, and that's Ashleigh Nikol now....

i would love to give a shining report of how well christmas went, but since this is MY life, of course that didnt happen. On my last post,I talked about how great of a friend Walter was...and that all men arent dogs. Well, people, I am still trying to hold on to that adage, so I won't go man bashing. But just know that walter turned out to be less of the great man that I described him to be.He did great things for me that I couldnt do for myself at the time....but on the flip side, he was mean, (downright cruel at times) did questionable things to get the money he got,and on top of that lied to me!The best thing he taught me was to stand up for myself when it comes to getting verbally abused. Now, I can spar with the best of them when it comes to a war of words, but when it comes to men that I care about, im soft in the middle. like a marshmallow...however, try me now. Ashley is truly a Needless to say, our friendship has since dissolved.Everyone couldnt wait to get home from college for winter break, myself included. Once I was there, things started to get a little boring....i love to eat and sleep, but even these things can become redundant as all get out...For Christmas, I got a pair of pajamas. A PAIR OF PAJAMAS. I feel hella spoiled for saying it like that, but dangit i gotta more crap than that last year! Proof that Christmas really is for the children.And I know, there are lots of kids out there who werent even fortunate enough to get some wack pajamas like i did, so let me shutup. Plus, ive probably forgotten the real reason for the season, later on that....My new year's resolutions were pretty simple this year.Save money, and take care of myself. But then again, saving money is pretty difficult (for me, anyway)and taking care of myself covers a wider spectrum than i thought right off...I feel old. Old as hell. And Im still only 18.And since Im getting old, i have to start figuring things out on my own, like how to GROW UP! My whole teen life could be summed up in Three words:Crazy, Sexy, Cool.
Crazy: Ive done some truly nutty stuff in this life already.Ive stalked people,drove drunk (on more than one occasion) Ive run over somebody(sorry will! I still love you!), put naked pictures of my ex-boyfriend on the internet for revenge,ran over my leg with my car (it was an accident, not attempted suicide!)
Sexy: It seems like ever since I hit puberty, I am a sex symbol more than I am a young lady, and now, young woman...I love my body, dont get me wrong! (38,27, not a brick house, Im a building!!!lol) but Its a gift and a curse. What do you get when you have a female who thinks like a child and has a body like a woman? Trouble. Think on that one.
Cool: For a while, I struggled to fit in (yeah, I aint ashamed to say it!) and it seemed like the minute I stopped trying, people started flocking to me. And thats fine. But inherently, everybody has a need to be accepted. And perhaps my need was once a little greater than others.
So becasue of this combination, my life is a cocktail of CRAZY! And i think that I want to change that a little. But How would I do that without losing MY edge?p.s., I changed my name from Ashley Nicole to Ashleigh Nikol. That name is so common, I wanted it to at least look a little different!A little Fly! Well, here's to new beginnings...
Meez 3D avatar avatars games