Why Hip-Hop is dead

Brown sugar is one of my favorite movies. No, I mean like really. lol The way Hip-Hop is used as a Euphimism for love just blows me away, and I don't know why! My momma told me I would end up with an older man a few years ago, and I held onto that. Though I'm 18, I know for certain I'm just a tad bit different from other chicks my age. (EVERYBODY says that, so I try not to that often.) I realize that yes, I am still a kid in a lotta ways, but honey is growing up fast in college, hear me? I got Bills out the ass, I'm not carefree any more, and I'm about my future! The bible does say "When I was a child, I thought as a child, I spoke as a child...but when I became a man I put childish things away." And I'm a man now, baby. (lol a WOman)

And then I met a man. And he was older than me...and he was intelligent, had already graduated form college AND graduate school...and he was the 6'5 to my 6'0 in heels, and he was suave and handsome, and the list goes on... I was in deep, y'all.But on top of it all, he was an original B-Boy!Big in Louisville right now, and no, he isnt a rapper. Look up the definition if you are a little confused. I thought to myself, this is the one I deserve! this man was to me the completion of my adulthood (to me, anywau). I'd been rippin and runnin since I was 14, talking to as many dudes as I possibly could! Lookin back now, it was because the thing I wanted most in life was just to be pretty, and be noticed. Perhaps because I was cute now, and I was pretty satisfied with that need and realized how idiotic that want was when so many dont have HALF my blessings, I settled down. And now I could talk about my favorite subjects (politics, money, wolrd affairs, trash tv lol) with ease and not worry about whether or not I was understood. And then after that I could hear a cut I hadnt heard in years, just to make me smile.He was my hip-hop.

But where/what has hip-hop come to? Hip-hop has made a pretty tumultuous juorney to where we are now. Nobody talks about anything anymore except how much money they have, how much pussy they're getting, and whether or not you could get fucked up if anybody feels so obliged. Sex, drugs, and videotape,yo.Television shows have eroded its sanctity, made jokes out of what was so special, and the one thing that still belonged to US, whatever way we decided to take it. The same way Hip-hop had a rocky road, so had me and MY hip-hop. Somehow I managed to get myself entagled with someone who didnt want to be in a relationship, while I was ready for a serious and monogamous one. But like most, he told me he wanted me to be exclusive to him, and I was his "baby."I was his "1"(ladies, didnt I tell y'all about this shit in my last blog?)and for a while, that was enough for me. But 1 means that there are other numbers honey (and dont you ever forget it!) Being a man who had been in 8 cities in 7 years, he had hoes in different area codes. BEAUTIFUL WOMEN (models, singers, dancers-the whole nine) and I felt terribly inferior. What did IIII possibly have to offer that these other women didnt? Then I thought, it's becasue I'm smart, and becasue I'm not the flashy type, I'm just quietly pretty and supportive. A man that's fairly famous wants a real woman thats smart and strong and can hold him down in the homefront, not a woman to fight him for the spotlight! Then I realized again, that whatever you are, there is always somebody out there Smarter than your smart ass, Funnier than your funny ass, and Killing your beautiful ass!So I'm sure he's done women wrong who are in even better positions than I am. And the straw the broke the camel's back (i LOVE that saying) was that he messes with women around the city that cant compare to me! stupid ghetto women that act like they have no hometraining, fairly pretty women with children who are only looking for a sponsor, not a man (takne from one of his blogs). Give me a fucking break! Most of the time I languished on the vine, just wanting a little of his time, hoping he thought of me at least a little. He would tell me how busy he was, and I respected that. But if you're busy, how in the world do you have time to meet all your new little friends? (red flag!) My heart simply couldn't take anymore.


1) Dont give it up!- I had to learn this the hard way (my favorite way, apparently) As much as we women hate games, men HAVE to play them! It's a biological mechanism. They love to chase, so run,bitch! Dont give up your cookies! If you do there's nothing to work towards and then they get bored. No matter how good of a match you are, if you do that, you're done. So wait!

2) If he's Not calling you, he's calling somebody!- my mama told me that and I have ALWAYS found it to be true. Dont wonder where he's at, cuz he sure as hell aint wonderin about you! Pick up a damn book! (refer to the "read a book" video on my page ,or youtube!)Dont call him!

3) Nobody is to busy to pick up the phone or send you a short text message and tell you they're thinking about you. Men just dont forget about somebody they truly like, honies.

4) you have to love yourself before you can be in love- I'm still learning. I have to love everything about me, flaws and all, before anybody else could. See, something new I've learned!

5) Know your worth- whether you are a 5 or a ten, a dummy or genious, fat, skinny, short or tall, there is something about you that makes you special and Unique in this world. And that makes you BEAUTIFUL! Dont be afraid to leave each and every jerk until you find that one who can appreciate that specialty about you!Don't be afraid to be selective! Men are, aren't they?

6)All men are not the same, ladies. Even the ones that are absolute assholes to your are wonderful to other girls..You just have to get in where you fit in. And the shit aint easy.And some men are instantly ready to settle down, while others may never be. Listen to T.I...."I aint gonna chase u, I'd rather replace u."

7) If all else fails, know that Karma is a Bitch. And it will get his ass.

So where am I right now? Sitting here, supposed to be doing homework. But this was heavy on my heart, just like he still is.I'm so gone, so addicted... Sometimes I hope he'll read this and realize he lost a good one, but as long as I know it that's all that matters.It hurts like hell, but I'll get over it. I wanted to be his 1, his wife, not wifey, be the mother of his kids and start a family of intelligent black children who know where they come from, but I can still do that with another lucky fantasies were very real, yet youthful, and his shit was smoke, mirrors and pipe dreams over a sick, sick beat...After his contract is up and he leaves louisville, he probably wont even remember my name. I know in the future I'll see him at parties, and hear his voice everywhere as soon as I come home.And I know his regular groupies will be hanging off him, and it will hurt to see it and know that everything he did to me to make me feel good, he'll do to them. I wasn't special to him. but I AM special.I might write an pop song about it one day (lmao)and you know why?