CLICK HERE FOR THOUSANDS OF FREE BLOGGER TEMPLATES »

Friday

Waiting For the Fruit to Fall....


This is how tired and old I feel.Its how i look like right now, actually...ok just kidding. But I am indeed exhausted.ok, lol i look a lil more like this

Midterms are finished, but Im still pretty beat up from having to work. Yes, the night-desk clerk job I have that was supposed to be part time has turned into an all-night thing, every night. But I have bills, man. So let me not even go into that whole spiel....Lately, people have been asking me, "What made you grow up?" "when did you become sista souljah?" and really, I dont know.Does anyone ever know?(btw, why do you have to be "acting grown" to not be showing your ass?) But then again, when asked, if ever, why am I REALLY in college, my soul says it doesnt know either. So I pretty much put me on hold and do it for other people.
Do any of you guys ever feel like you do some things for other people? Its not that I dont want to be in school, because I sincerely love college.I love to learn.But my main reasons for being here are my family. My mother didnt get to graduate, and she pretty much lives through me. It breaks my heart sometimes when I come home and Im regaling her with tales of this knucklehead or that wack professor, and her eyes light up because she never got to experience that and she so longs for it. In my Mother's day post, I mentioned how i would do anything for her, and how I really feel Im her made over sometimes, just a continuation. Hell, she tells me how i took her body all the time lol. But if I have to break my back and get a new one from weariness and stayin in school, I'd do it just for her....
Also, Im doing it for my two younger sisters. So they know its okay to be smart and nuts and quirky because there's a place for everyone.So they know just what a classy (except for my trashmouth,lol)young woman can do. And so that they cant ever say they cant do it...I dont ever wanna be like Kim K, who said on the tyra show, she tries to empower women and set good examples for HER two little sisters.
***blank stare***


So since I'm nurturing this tree Im just waitin for the fruit to fall...for my money to come, for my next opportunity to bless someone because im being blessed,for a new lesson...tick-tock,fruit.
HOWEVER.
there's still some fertilizer I need to put down. I've made some mistakes I need to rectify. And this weekend Im goin home to fix a biggie. Of course by now if u've peeked around here any, you'd kno abt my ups and downs, ons and off w/ HIM. as in "Hip-Hop".(who btw told me he didnt mind my feminist beliefs because it was mostly bullshit opinios anyway, and if it doesnt make money it doesnt make sense. Nevermind without it, his mother and girl cousins wouldnt even b able to vote...jesus, are u giving me a sign or taking the red flag and smacking me in the face with it?) And after this weekend, I'll pretty much know whether or not I've really matured into a grown woman. (sigh) wish me luck, even if you dont know what the hell im talkin about.I will write and tell 'yall...This next week is going to be crazy. Ive told my friend The Queen (i think she thinks that's her real name, too.lol)that I would be in her fashion show....but I cant believe that I did that!Now I can do some car show type deal (cuz thats what im built for) bouncin around in hardly no clothes (but those days are over since I'm queen latifah now lol)I dont know how to use my height and my legs!what if the clothes she's desginig dont fit me right? WTF?!!! and after that, I've agreed to be sold off in a date auction to raise money for breast cancer awareness...sold off...i dont know why I do these boneheaded things. I guess for you all's entertainment.I can just picture some strange, monkey like non-greek pickin me up and carryin me accross the threshold whilst slappin my ass and burpin...ugh.Speakin of men, I was chatting w/ one of my longtime love interests last night, and wondered if he had gotten his mind together, as in, not tryna get any, anymore. He hasnt. Still love him though.... But I do have a question for all my grown-up lady readers and male ones too: Does the quest for booty ever stop? Do they ever stop hankering, hinting, and panting after it? How many times can I say NO?And if you really want to turn me on, talk to me about the election! Tell me you want to take me to church with you one day! treat me to freaking dinner! I refuse to believe that Chivalry is dead! you utter the word feminist and people hear the word "DYKE"! There's got to be a gentleman somewhere...can I find the last of the dying breed?
Can I?
Smile. I might have...Enter KNOWLEDGE, stage right....

10 comments:

Saitek said...

you earned the right to feel tired and exhausted. keep doin what you do the world needs more black women like you

im glad to see that you are making your mom proud, i talk to waaay to many mothers who spend their time shaking their heads in shame at the actions of their offspring

as far as the whole guy thing, i think that there are some people who never stop the search for booty. i use to work with a doctor who i guess tried to relate to me by talking to me about what he would do to pretty much every chick that walked in front of us. dude was well in his 60's i dont know if he thought i would think he was cool or what but it was irritating. i also have some friends who i graduated high school its been almost 10 years and they pretty much act and seek the same stuff they did in high school. all that just leads me to believe that some people mature but honestly most dont.

Good luck finding a good man, they are out there but for some odd reason they always end up with girls that do horrible things and end up changing everything about them because of how hurt they were/are. i speak from experience.
u may not come across one with every single quality u want but they are out there, im sure u will find him soon enough.

p.s. sorry for the novel

Darius T. Williams said...

Truth be told - I'm looking for the last of a dying breed too. When I find one, I'll let you know.

Charles (Illumistrations) said...

That pic you threw up at the top made me vomit a lil...and I completely lost my train of thought and concentration...

All-Mi-T [Thought Crime] Rawdawgbuffalo said...

good deal on the breats cancer effor and far as Kim K 0 faker lame foul, and di ingenious
hope u buss at least a 3.75

and that pic at top aint a good look, albeit i have seen such in the several years i lived in nigeria, senegal, south africa and Ethiopis

have a gr8 weekend jones

(vixenchick) said...

the love that you have for your mom is reall refreshing....i love that. it's really great to see that you want to be a positive influence for your sisters.

xoxo

vixen

Anonymous said...

it's a good thing i'm not into boys. women are more my speed. i think my life would be ten times more complicated if i dated men. eww. don't even want to think about that.

Anonymous said...

that pic is completely out of order. good men are hard to find, but dont settle for less. like personally i want a woman better than michelle obama. ima be searching for a while but i also will end up with the greatest prize ever. instant/quick/right now gratification would be nice but its better to win later than to win now. besides most people with somebody dont even like them and will be done with each other at the drop of a pin

Melody.Darlene said...

omg that picture at the top is tooooooo funny! hahaha!

D.Jay said...

I see this joint was written strictly on a stream of consciousness so it makes it hard to narrow down what i can comment on without taking three days to write. Two aspect stuck out to me Does the quest for booty end and the whole lack of acknowledgement when it comes to your newfound feminism.

1. The quest for booty never stops... sorry to put it so bluntly but optimistically I can say not all brothas are desperately seeking their next piece of ass. Chivalry hasn't died it's a forgotten art. Your average brotha doesn't pratice chivalry or let alone care to be aware of it. It's a select few that truly know what it means to treat a lady with respect and not as an object. Blame it on society for the staggering numbers on why that is so.

2. It seems as if whoever the culprit is that basically overlooked your new mantra should be appreciated. I'm sure that will draw another blank stare but I said that to say this... He / she only kept it 100 with you! He... ahem... the person didn't hold back exactly how they felt about your new thought process. I was always told to appreciate people like that because they are bold enough to say some borderline insane sh*t and get away with it.

Anonymous said...

this blog is dope...