hip hop chronicles part 2

I am an evil person. sometimes. well, alot. becasue underneath all my comedy and all my, um, ashleighness, there is still an insecure little girl there....I reconciled with hip-hop. I felt as though I couldn't be without him, breathe without him, or anything, especially while he's still in the vicinity and it's almost as though I can feel his heart beating somewhere....oh dear, I'm starting to slip into spoken word crap, let me go on....ladies, have you ever been jealous another woman and that woman didnt even know you existed? Or maybe she had some inkling that there is a you but she doesnt know who you are? If you're confused, then let me clarify. Things have been going really well with me and hip-hop lately (i think ive fallen!) but there is one roadblock of a woman in the way of my dreams! let's call her Nicole.* Nicole and hip-hop were friends for five years before WE ever met. She is a singer and in the business they're in, in their careers theyve worked together alot. (she needs people like him if she wants to get her music out.) . in any case, he told me (recently) that they're just friends and that's all they would ever be. Before that when I asked he called her a gold-digger. BEFORE that he said that was the closest thing he had had to a girlfriend. I smell emotions from this nigga,man. And i dont like it.And something about her is nagging the SHIT out of me, and I was told never to ignore the little voice inside.(well, that and the damn myspace comments they occasionally post to each other....yeah, I meddle! so fuckin what!)So of course you can guess what she looks like: some half-breed exotic beauty with big doe eyes and pale skin and long curly hair, therefore making my nubian beauty darken in comparison....what's worse is, I actually think she's probably a sweet person. So sometimes i feel bad for hating her and wanting her to dissapear from his life. (am I wrong for that?) I keep wondering why I'm even bothered by the thought of her; she's all the way across the country! I'm the one that wakes up in his arms, I'm the one he talks to every day, and the one he constantly reassures and just tells me to have a little faith in him....so tell me, is my woman's intuition just out of wack? Is it ok for your man to have female friends, especially when in the career he's in you can't do shit about it anyway? I need some answers.
P.s, the job isnt fuckin great, but it isn't the worst either. That's for anther day.
pss, final question: Why do all black men think they have a prize when they have some non-black woman? Sorry to offend you brothers if this isnt you, but i gotta know somethn!