Stop The Madness... Class Act prt 1

Stop the madness. Like, really.
Why are we females always fighting EACH OTHER?
I have come a long way from where I used to be, and being a little more enlightened than I was before, I'm looking around and shaking my head. Im on my journey to become a "class act".There was a time when I didnt have the highest self-esteem, and was threatened by girls who had qualities that I admired or wished I had. So in the company of my friends, I would pick out the chicks I had problems with and systematically Tear Them Apart! From their hairstyle to their shoes, the way they were built...any imperfections I had seen I would exploit to the fullest extent.And would use my gift with words to make a person feel lower than an ant... Then a little later, after I had my own Come-up and didnt feel so bad, I picked on people who didnt have it like I had it, who couldnt "freak" an outfit like I freaked it, and maybe werent as cute as me. Lookin back no matter where I was on the popularity food chain, I was a pretty nasty person. But, things change, time heals all wounds and I look around and see my sisters (all of you!) doing the same things I did and worse. And if you aren't, I applaud you. Now, there is a difference between hating on girls for no reason and disliking them for a genuine one...and let me tell you
A MAN BETTER NOT BE ONE OF THEM!
every day I find myself trying to be a better person, a classy lady. We hear that word alot but alot of women take the word and twist the meaning. And, if you have to call yourself classy before anybody else does, you still have some work to do, lady. For the ladies that maybe have some issues deep down inside and jealousy is your problem, you dont have to admit it to that person. But you can from here on out stop treating them like your enemy and maybe find out what it is that you can do to better yourself. Sistas, another thing that is CLASSLESS is the way we treat ourselves when it comes to men...PLEASE let that "wifed-up" thing go! because unless you have a ring on your finger, you are really no better than the "side-chick" or "jumpoff" because the nigga is still DISRESPECTING you. Also, if you got your man by taking him from anotha sista, you better beware. How you got him is how you will lose him, and Karma is a bad,bad, bitch.Another thing. CLOSE YOUR MOTHERFUCKING LEGS!IF you MUST get some, go buy a toy. We all understand that caking and cuddling with a dude can lead to some stuff, and we all fall down. But if you keep on TRIPPING and Falling, you better take them Fuck Me Pumps off and go sat your hot ass down somewhere.And if you bragging because he's trickin on you, what does that make you? A TRICK! stop braggin on it... Once a dude gets it, i mean...he done got it and its up to him now to decide when to get rid of ur ass, cuz we all know the double standards.I hate to bore you, but the story Lysistrata by Aristophanes is about all the women in thier kingdom cracking down on their dudes and getting whatever they wanted done by doin one thing: Cutting off the coochie!(its really effective, I PROMISE!lol) To my ladies that are established, have their own things, look good, doing it big: I APPLAUD YOU! I LOVE YOU, GIRL! but dont look down on the next chick. If I see anybody else on their pages talkin about how they "SHIT" on "these hoes", I'm gonna go crazy. Do you think there is something cute about people visualizing boo-boo runnin all outta your ass because you look good? eh-eh. Besides, shit stinks, and so will your attitude if you keep talkin like that.Now if I sound like I'm preachin, y'all aint gotta go get out your afro picks for a natural and run around bra-less watchin Waiting to Exhale...
but can we attempt to make a change at least? Even if a chick did something to piss you off and now u dont like her ass, forgive her. Maybe she was having a bad day.Help a ho get off the floor if she fell instead of laughin! (I say ho in the most loving way) when you walk down the street, smile at the next girl u see instead of mean muggin, even IF THATS WHAT SHE DOES.Stop fighting like bitches in the street (that shit aint cute!)Rome wasnt built in a day...and next time you go to the club and you look all the way right, say you REPRESENT for the girls that cant do it like you yet instead of SHITTING (eee) on the ones who dont look so good. To all the girls who say they dont fuck with other girls, they only have guy friends...shut your trap. you only have guy friends execpt for all the BESTIES that you effin posin in pics with, and besides a nigga can be "yo nigga" all he want and he STILL can talk about yo ass the same way he talk about people in front of you.So to all the girls that I've pissed off ever, my bad, sis. And to all my future and present friends, I'm blessed to have you.I know this line is a cliche', but the past is history, the future is a mystery, and today is a gift! Enjoy it! Why do you think they call it the "present"?
So let's Stop the Madness!

Un-Be-WEAVE-Able

Anybody, who knows me (or knows me well) knows that I wear a hairweave. (gasp, oh my god she's admitting it!)lol yes. I am a trackstar. But that's only a negative connotation if I choose it to be, and I choose it NOT to be. From middle school on, I've had a journey with my hair, and went anywhere from a shoulder length bob to a "dooty- ball" at the top of my head, to a flip that rested at my earlobes. Freshman year of highschool, however, I discovered the WEAVE! My beautician put a ponytail on me for my freshman year picture, and from then on, I loved it! I loved never having to do my hair anymore, just throw it on and go! but of course, you cant wear the same weave for months and months, and the "ponytail", as it quickly began to be known as, became raggedy, and almost led me to an altercation with somebody! But I surely wasnt going to let it go, and from then on my weave has evolved. Grown. Ive done all kinds of shit. Short hairstlyes, LONG, different colors, bangs. The list is endless. My baby sugar punkin knows I wear one as well, and he doesnt too much care. (like I'd give a fuck if he did anyway...it's MY hair, gotdamn you!lol) and I've pretty much gotten the weave thing down (if you dont think so, feel free to write me a message later) so I feel as though I should help those who have less experience or arent so inclined to dealing with it. Becasue the rugs I've been seeing on some females around here lately HAVE GOT TO GO!

1- If you're gonna wear a weave, Please buy some real fucking hair! The best you can, at least, becasue unless you're a baller bitch and you got it like that and change it up whenever, that weave is going to be sitting there for a minute. Bad weave looks plastic and stringy and dry! and when you move your head it will move with you! instead of swishing around on its own like it's supposed to....If I see you, I WILL talk about you.

2-If you're gonna wear a weave, take care of it! Yes, you have to treat that shit like its your own. Brush it. Wrap it up when you go to sleep. Moisturize it. love it! cuz if not its going to get dry and tangled, and I've seen waaayyyy too many bitches in the club with their weave in knotty tangled balls at the back of their necks and looking haphazard in the front. Again if I see you, I WILL talk about you.

3-Make sure your weave looks like your hair! as close as you can get as possible! The color (unless you going for a funky two-tone look) shouldnt be lighter or darker. and if you must, take somebody with you when you buy that damn hair! Also, the textures must match as well! If you got some nappy ass project hair and you bought some wacky-yaky, you better SHELLACK that stuff with product and a flat iron until it lays down like your weave. I'm so tired of seeing people walking around with "shredded wheat" at the top of their heads and Italian silky at the bottom that I could scream!Also, if you are wearing a curly weave:unless your hair is fine and agrees with the texture of your weave, dont keep it in too long. After a while, the textures WILL separate and people will indeed begin to realize you dont have as much indian in your family as you would like them to think.Again ladies, if i see you, I WILL talk about you.
(quick tip: if your real hair is flat but not as shiny as you like, run the barrel of a hot curling iron over it...it will glisten. Ashley J, you may not remember giving that advice years ago, but thanx anyway! =))

4- Cover your tracks!we've all had a little mishap where a track is somewhat visible through your hair, but that's not what I'm talkin about.Im talkin about not having enough hair at the top of your head to cover the tracks underneath it! (in that case, maybe you should invest in a quick weave...look it up)and, dont try and put yo hair in a damn ponytail unless your shit is LAID! people are not idiots...we can see the track prints, honey.and please believe if it's sitting out clear as day and I can spot it, I WILL talk about you.

5-unless you are talented or have been at the weave wearing for a while (that'd be me) Dont do it yourself! believe it or not, not everybody needs the full two bags of hair that is prescribed for a sew-in weave.The other night I saw an old friend of mine that looked like she had two pounds of weave on her head and it was weighing her poor little baby-head skinny dome down! Just wrong...Also, I go to school with a couple that need a little help. Their weaves look like HATS becasue they're so big on they damn head! You better tell shaniqua to stop gettin creative on your wig,honey! Its not a good look!you know why? cuz i WILL talk about you!

6-Dont wear a weave thats not YOU. Dont come to school or to yo job with no fingerwaves on one side, waterfall crimps coming down in a pontyail on top of that with bangs underneath with twisties, a french roll and two random tracks in the back! its just ridiculous! also, if you got a big ass forehead, cover that shit up! dont be assaulting us...and going back to ponytails, dont you DARE wear no long ass silky black pony tails and the back of yo neck looks like a dark version on the gravel on the side of the road. you know why? Becasue.
My whole crew will talk about you.Badly.

Bottom line, weaves are everywhere. And they're here to stay. While some girls may only wear it once in their lives for a prom or a wedding, still others may wear it like an accesory,or another part of their style.(like me!) Dont hate on the next person, and that goes for boys and girls. Boys, weave is not for "bald-headed people". Every wench that you like lookin at in magazines or on tv has had some sort of enhancement. "if you cant grow it, sew it!" and "if you cant achieve it, weave it!" are very oudated terms, becasue women of every race wear it. Even girls with long hair, becasue its often for thickness more than length. Girls, if you dont wear a weave, then feel free to laugh at this. And if you do, then please make sure you got all that ive written about on lock! Becasue ive been through all that shit. And, well, if you decide NOT to take my advice, then, like Bruce-Bruce says...
"That looks GOOD....on....YOU.!"
(but i WILL talk about you.)

Why Hip-Hop is dead

Brown sugar is one of my favorite movies. No, I mean like really. lol The way Hip-Hop is used as a Euphimism for love just blows me away, and I don't know why! My momma told me I would end up with an older man a few years ago, and I held onto that. Though I'm 18, I know for certain I'm just a tad bit different from other chicks my age. (EVERYBODY says that, so I try not to that often.) I realize that yes, I am still a kid in a lotta ways, but honey is growing up fast in college, hear me? I got Bills out the ass, I'm not carefree any more, and I'm about my future! The bible does say "When I was a child, I thought as a child, I spoke as a child...but when I became a man I put childish things away." And I'm a man now, baby. (lol a WOman)

And then I met a man. And he was older than me...and he was intelligent, had already graduated form college AND graduate school...and he was the 6'5 to my 6'0 in heels, and he was suave and handsome, and the list goes on... I was in deep, y'all.But on top of it all, he was an original B-Boy!Big in Louisville right now, and no, he isnt a rapper. Look up the definition if you are a little confused. I thought to myself, this is the one I deserve! this man was to me the completion of my adulthood (to me, anywau). I'd been rippin and runnin since I was 14, talking to as many dudes as I possibly could! Lookin back now, it was because the thing I wanted most in life was just to be pretty, and be noticed. Perhaps because I was cute now, and I was pretty satisfied with that need and realized how idiotic that want was when so many dont have HALF my blessings, I settled down. And now I could talk about my favorite subjects (politics, money, wolrd affairs, trash tv lol) with ease and not worry about whether or not I was understood. And then after that I could hear a cut I hadnt heard in years, just to make me smile.He was my hip-hop.

But where/what has hip-hop come to? Hip-hop has made a pretty tumultuous juorney to where we are now. Nobody talks about anything anymore except how much money they have, how much pussy they're getting, and whether or not you could get fucked up if anybody feels so obliged. Sex, drugs, and videotape,yo.Television shows have eroded its sanctity, made jokes out of what was so special, and the one thing that still belonged to US, whatever way we decided to take it. The same way Hip-hop had a rocky road, so had me and MY hip-hop. Somehow I managed to get myself entagled with someone who didnt want to be in a relationship, while I was ready for a serious and monogamous one. But like most, he told me he wanted me to be exclusive to him, and I was his "baby."I was his "1"(ladies, didnt I tell y'all about this shit in my last blog?)and for a while, that was enough for me. But 1 means that there are other numbers honey (and dont you ever forget it!) Being a man who had been in 8 cities in 7 years, he had hoes in different area codes. BEAUTIFUL WOMEN (models, singers, dancers-the whole nine) and I felt terribly inferior. What did IIII possibly have to offer that these other women didnt? Then I thought, it's becasue I'm smart, and becasue I'm not the flashy type, I'm just quietly pretty and supportive. A man that's fairly famous wants a real woman thats smart and strong and can hold him down in the homefront, not a woman to fight him for the spotlight! Then I realized again, that whatever you are, there is always somebody out there Smarter than your smart ass, Funnier than your funny ass, and Killing your beautiful ass!So I'm sure he's done women wrong who are in even better positions than I am. And the straw the broke the camel's back (i LOVE that saying) was that he messes with women around the city that cant compare to me! stupid ghetto women that act like they have no hometraining, fairly pretty women with children who are only looking for a sponsor, not a man (takne from one of his blogs). Give me a fucking break! Most of the time I languished on the vine, just wanting a little of his time, hoping he thought of me at least a little. He would tell me how busy he was, and I respected that. But if you're busy, how in the world do you have time to meet all your new little friends? (red flag!) My heart simply couldn't take anymore.

LEARN FROM MY MISTAKE TIME!!!!

1) Dont give it up!- I had to learn this the hard way (my favorite way, apparently) As much as we women hate games, men HAVE to play them! It's a biological mechanism. They love to chase, so run,bitch! Dont give up your cookies! If you do there's nothing to work towards and then they get bored. No matter how good of a match you are, if you do that, you're done. So wait!

2) If he's Not calling you, he's calling somebody!- my mama told me that and I have ALWAYS found it to be true. Dont wonder where he's at, cuz he sure as hell aint wonderin about you! Pick up a damn book! (refer to the "read a book" video on my page ,or youtube!)Dont call him!

3) Nobody is to busy to pick up the phone or send you a short text message and tell you they're thinking about you. Men just dont forget about somebody they truly like, honies.

4) you have to love yourself before you can be in love- I'm still learning. I have to love everything about me, flaws and all, before anybody else could. See, something new I've learned!

5) Know your worth- whether you are a 5 or a ten, a dummy or genious, fat, skinny, short or tall, there is something about you that makes you special and Unique in this world. And that makes you BEAUTIFUL! Dont be afraid to leave each and every jerk until you find that one who can appreciate that specialty about you!Don't be afraid to be selective! Men are, aren't they?

6)All men are not the same, ladies. Even the ones that are absolute assholes to your are wonderful to other girls..You just have to get in where you fit in. And the shit aint easy.And some men are instantly ready to settle down, while others may never be. Listen to T.I...."I aint gonna chase u, I'd rather replace u."

7) If all else fails, know that Karma is a Bitch. And it will get his ass.

So where am I right now? Sitting here, supposed to be doing homework. But this was heavy on my heart, just like he still is.I'm so gone, so addicted... Sometimes I hope he'll read this and realize he lost a good one, but as long as I know it that's all that matters.It hurts like hell, but I'll get over it. I wanted to be his 1, his wife, not wifey, be the mother of his kids and start a family of intelligent black children who know where they come from, but I can still do that with another lucky man...my fantasies were very real, yet youthful, and his shit was smoke, mirrors and pipe dreams over a sick, sick beat...After his contract is up and he leaves louisville, he probably wont even remember my name. I know in the future I'll see him at parties, and hear his voice everywhere as soon as I come home.And I know his regular groupies will be hanging off him, and it will hurt to see it and know that everything he did to me to make me feel good, he'll do to them. I wasn't special to him. but I AM special.I might write an pop song about it one day (lmao)and you know why?

BECAUSE HIP-HOP IS DEAD.